The Mute Foreigner
by likeapenguin
Summary: By the title, you should probably get the gist of the story. Basically, Alice can't talk and her family is all dead, save Lorina and Mommy. So, that's pretty much it...
1. Damn Rabbit

**Penguin:** New story. Woo.

**White:** You sound less enthusiastic than usual, Penguin. Why?

**Penguin:** Dare. _* glares evilly at a snickering Black *_ From Black.

**White:** Ah. Well, let's get on with the story, shall we?

* * *

I hate clocks.

_BEEP_

Well, now that's unfair. I only hate _alarm_ clocks.

_BEEP_

Particularly when they wake you up from your wonderful dreams _every single day_.

Which is exactly what this alarm clock did. I was dreaming I was having a conversation with my dearly-departed brother and father, yet this stupid alarm clock had the electronic nerve to wake me.

So, I angrily slapped it, telling it mentally to shut the hell up. I hauled my lazy self out of bed with a very annoyed expression, which only increased when my poor tummy growled at me.

_Shut up, stomach, I'll go get you some food._ I assured it as I padded to down the hall, not before grabbing my well-used note pad and a pencil. I heaved a heavy sigh as I came down to the cold, empty kitchen, just like every morning. Also just like every morning, I poured myself some frosted flakes and skim milk halfway to the top of my orange bowl.

_I'm in a rut._ I thought glumly, leaning against the granite counter and chewing thoughtfully. _I wish something exciting would happen._

Before my thoughts could depress me any further, I put my bowl in the sink, and went up to shower, then put some of the apparently "scandalously odd" clothing that my sister loved to pester me about._  
_

_Think of the devil, and she shall appear._ I thought dryly as I spotted a tall, brunette someone walking down the hall toward me.

"Good morning, Alice." Lorina said kindly as I passed. I gave her the mandatory nod, hoping to head on my way. "Would you meet me in the garden?" she asked sweetly, though she must have predicted my head-shaking. "I have something for you."

Now this piqued my interest. _What could she have for me?_ I hesitated, but succumbed to my curiosity, and nodded.

She smiled. "See you soon, Alice." I nodded again.

I showered and changed into some of my supposedly "odd" clothing. I put on a black, mid-thigh length, u-neck tee shirt dress with a dark, red and green rose pattern curling all around it. A gray vest and converse completed my oh-so-awesome outfit. A black handkerchief was also folded artfully around my pale wrist. I ran my damp, ebony hair through a brush and headed to the huge back yard.

I gotta' admit, the back yard was pretty cool. It had a big, English-style rose garden maze thingy, that I spent afternoons getting lost in, being found by a maid, usually just in time for dinner.

I sighed and headed over to the big oak tree Lorina was waiting under. She smiled as her teal eyes found me. "Hello,"

I nodded. As you've probable noticed, I don't talk. I can't, actually. The psychological trauma I've experienced is to blame. But, that's a story for another time.

Lorina smiled. Her hands were behind her back, and her face shown with excitement. "Alice," she sang happily, pulling the something out for me to see. It was a bit anticlimactic, if you ask me.

It was a book. A small, faded, light blue book, with curly gold writing spelling _Wonderful Wonder World_ on the cover. I stared at it for a moment before looking up to Lorina with a falsely grateful expression. She was very easy to fool. All people were.

She smiled at my faux gratitude. "I'm so glad you like it. I found it in the attic, and I know you like books, so..." She thrust it gently into my hands. "You should read it while I'm out, to keep you busy." I nodded.

If there was one thing I liked about Lorina, it was her immense kindness. She would give you her ice cream if you dropped your's, then feed it to you on a gold spoon. She would give you her kidney, then make you a sundae. She would give you a mysterious book, trying to keep you out of a spiraling depression. Okay, the first two were hyperboles, but not by that much.

I smiled at her and motioned for her to get going, gesturing at my watch. Lorina laughed.

It was actually my father's, who you'll recall is dead, and on the day he died, I stopped it. It would forever commemorate his favorite time, tea time. So, obviously, it was useless, and my weak joke was at least somewhat entertaining to Lorina.

"Oh no, I'm late." she exclaimed faintly, putting her delicate palms to her cheeks, opening her mouth in mock surprise. I laughed silently along with her. "But, really. I should be going." she said, slightly breathless after laughing. "Good bye, Alice." she called, waving her hand lightly as she walked away.

I waved back with a small smile. I would fake happiness, for Lorina.

As soon as she was out of sight, a melancholy frown seeped onto my face. I sighed, sinking to the ground. I leaned against the tree, and decided to take a crack at this _Wonderful Wonder World._ The familiar smell of old book hit me as I leafed through it.

I stopped my rifling and went to the page titled _Prologue_.

_To whomever is reading this story, I would like to point out, first and foremost, that it is true. I have remembered these facts to the best of my ability, and tried to maintain an unbiased view of the characters portrayed. So, please, take this seriously.  
_

_ Also, dear reader, remember that beyond a dream, there is only reality._

_What a... foreboding beginning. _I thought with surprise. This looked like an old children's book, yet the author had made it so serious. I flipped curiously to the cover, to find the gloomy writer. I was disappointed when I found none.

I shrugged and headed to the first chapter, titled _Wonderland_.

_Wonderland is a very odd place, where lives are taken lightly and weapons are had by all. This makes it very different from anywhere in our world. However, we will get more into that later._

_Wonderland is divided by a power struggle into several territories. There is Heart Castle, the Amusement Park, Hatter Mansion, the Clock Tower, Clover Tower, and Joker Forest. The last two are only present occasionally, though under what circumstances, I am not sure._

_Heart Castle, the Amusement Park, and Hatter Mansion are currently the only ones in the struggle, though they are no more dangerous than the other neutral territories. _

Across from this writing was a hand-drawn map, with small illustrations of the territories and paths that lead to them. I flipped to the next page.

_Clocks_

_All of the inhabitants of Wonderland, faceless (see page 15) or not, have clocks in the place of hearts._

I gotta hand it to Lorina, this book seemed pretty cool.

_These clocks are taken by the afterimage (see page 20), or, occasionally, the Knight of Heart Castle, Ace (see page 45). These clocks are then repaired by Julius Monrey (see page 48), causing the severe lack of value on lives._

I was getting real excited now. This concept of clocks for heart enthralled me. I mean, repairing the clocks, bring the inhabitants of Wonderland back to life. _This Julius fellow sounds cool._ my brain thought before I could stop it.

_You're talking about him as if he's real. _the cynical voice in my head stated.

_You're right, sorry._ the other voice said quietly.

_Ugh._ I marked my place and put the little book in my pocket. Rubbing my temples, I lay down on the grass, looking for cloud shapes to take my wandering mind off of Julius and Ace.

_What if they are real, what if the book is true?_

I rubbed my throbbing head.

_Well, they're not, so shut up. _cynical voice said sharply.

_You shut up._

_No, you._

_No, yo-_

_Both of you, shut up! _I screamed to the little voices. I sighed and closed my eyes, the bright sun warming my skin and lulling me to sleep.

_Mustn't... fall... asleep. _I thought vaguely as the darkness overtook me.

-OoOoOoOoO-

"Alice." a small voice said off to my left. "Alice." it repeated, a little impatience seeping into it's tone.

I opened my eyes sleepily to see a white rabbit. In clothes. That had just talked.

It noticed my awakening, little red eyes lighting up. "Hello, Alice."

_I'm dreaming. I am so dreaming. _cynical voice said in shock.

_But in all your dreams, you can talk, right? Well, you can't now, can you._ the happy little voice said smugly.

_True, true... But, rabbits can't talk in real life, either. _cynical voice retorted.

_Shut up, guys._ I told both of them before turning my short-spanned attention back to the bunny.

"Come on, Alice. We're late." It pulled out a large watch out of his pocket, pointing to it, as if to prove that we were, indeed, late.

I shook my head cautiously. _No. Hell no._ I thought blankly as the rabbit sighed, ears drooping.

"I guess I'll have to make you, then." There was a flash of white light. Then, standing before me, was a handsome guy, with white hair, though he looked rather young. He had white rabbit ears, and small, round glasses, similar to the ones that the little rabbit was wearing only moments ago. He had on the same clothes as the rabbit, thought his ensemble was obviously larger.

"Come on, Alice." he said merrily, picking me up, bridal style, and running off, surprisingly fast, toward the rose maze.

I screamed silently and reached frantically for my pencil, so I could gouge his eyes out. But, alas, I saw it sitting, abandoned, by my note pad under the oak tree.

_Shit. _I thought angrily. _Shit, shit, shit._

_

* * *

_**Penguin:** Okay, before anyone says it, yes, it is a sucky place to end the first chapter, but it was, like, 2000 words, so...

Anyway, I'ma' gonna' update J-bel in Wonderland next, so yipee for me.

Well, tell me if ya' like it.

Bye!


	2. Sexy hunk of Man Meat, Indeed

**Penguin:** Dear Everyone That's Reading This,

I'm am so(ooooooooooooooooooooo) sorry for not updating in, like, six years (teenager years, that is)! I just had WAY too much work 'n' shit to do, so, yeah, I suck. But, there is good news for you, my readers! It is at the bottom Authoress' Note, and you must get through this extra-long chapter to get to it! *laughs evilly* MWUAHAHAHAHA! *stops evil laughter and creates an awkward silence*

Gay baby!

*more awkward silence*

Okay... anyway, here's this long overdue chappie, bunnies!

* * *

So, to recap, I was being carried, by a rabbit-man, no less, to some unknown, possibly rapist-filled, destination where, unannounced to me, I was late for something or other. Not fun, I can assure you.

As I was saying, so-said rabbit-man was now paused, looking around as if he were lost. "Where is that hole?" he murmured, oblivious to my silent screams.

_What the hell, man! Do you SERIOUSLY not notice me punching your vertebrae? _I mind-yelled, slamming my fists into his shoulder blade. Quite vigorously, I might add.

Anyway, back to the story. This rabbit, man, possible-rapist, thing was now running toward the large hole in my yard while I... Wait, what?

_How in the name of some guy named Ted did THAT get there! There's a huge frickin' hole in my backyard, for Christ's sake!_

There was a rather large hole in my backyard, though it wasn't my top priority at that moment. My top priority was to make the rabbit-rapist let me go so I wouldn't have to go down so-said huge hole, because, as everyone knows, it's bad to fall down holes.

_Heh, that almost rhymed._

_Shut, up optimistic side._

_You're mean, pessimistic side!_

_You know what, _I interrupted their banter. _From now on, pessimistic side, you're known as... Brandi, and, optimistic side, you're known as... Carol, deal?_

_I like my name!_

_Shut up, Carol._

_You're mean, Brandi!_

_Shut the hell up, both of you!_

My mind is a sick, twisted enigma, and should only be explored with great caution by the bravest of souls. Oh, and my therapist. I don't much like my therapist, though. Carol and Brandi don't either.

Anywho, back to something relevant. For example, the fact that rabbit man was getting dangerously close to the hole. Surely, that was cause for _some _alarm.

So, mysterious rabbit-man had stopped moving, and was standing for a second to catch his breath on the edge of the hole. He also turned me around to hold me bridal style. Creep. He smiled charmingly, almost _lovingly_, at me after taking a deep breath.

"And, now, my dear, we jump."

And jump he did. It was really cool, actually. Save for the fact that he _could_ have been a pedophile. Yeah, that would suck.

Yeah, back to the story...

Though it was fun, I still screamed silently. Rabbit-man just looked at me with a pedophile-smile the whole time. Hah, pedophile-smile. I made a new thing that almost rhymes.

_Focus, Alice, focus!_

I shook my head, vaguely hearing Rabbit saying something or other about falling being fun when he's with me. I repeat, creep.

"But, alas, Alice, we cannot fall forever."

We obviously couldn't; there was a light growing beneath us, signifying our arrival at whatever hell-hole we had arrived at, pun intended.

The light grew larger and brighter the faster we fell. I instinctively turned over onto my back and curled up in a ball, trying to lessen the blow, I suppose. The light finally engulfed us, and I vaguely saw Rabbit smiling creepily at me as the light blinded me. Eyes shut tight, I fell back into sleep's warm embrace, feathers of drowsiness tickling me as I drifted off.

~squiggle~

"... ice... lice... Alice... Come now, love, wake up..."

Someone shook me gently, and I fluttered my lids to reveal Rabbit smiling sweetly over me, a hand resting gently on my shoulder. I Falcon Punched him.

"Alice!" He flew backwards. _Heh, serves him right._ I noted my surroundings as he rubbed his head and talked about how he loved me or something. For the third time, creep.

Back to the surroundings; we were on a tower or something. It was made of stone, and really high up, judging by the birds flying at my eye-level about twenty feet away.

_Ew, heights._

_I know, right._

_Wow, you guys are actually agreeing._

_Shut up._

_What she said._

_Whatever._

I'm not schizophrenic, I swear, I'm not.

_I think the fact that ditz and I are here pretty much botches that._

_Shut up, Brandi._

_You do realize that you just told yourself to shut up, right?_

_... I hate you. I wish you'd die.  
_

_Now you're a masochist, too._

_..._

_That's what I thought._

Yeah, not schizophrenic...

Anywho...

Rabbit was holding a vial of... something out to me with an expectant smile.

I smirked, took it, and chucked it over the edge of the tower place. He just smiled-stared at me. Weirdo (Creep was overused by now.).

He smiled wider and pointed to my hand; the vial was sitting comfortably in it. My eyes widened, and I looked over to Rabbit, who was smirking, just a little, at my reaction.

_I hope he dies. Slowly.  
_

_Sadist..._

_Whatever..._

Rabbit smiled and said "Alice, dearest, it isn't that simple. You shall play the game, whether you want to," he paused and smiled almost threateningly. "or not."

Okay, this guy, in quoting the authoress' sister, gave me "the feeling that he would lock me in a tower and use my skin flakes as a seasoning 'cause he loved me or some shit." Yeah.

I shook my head and contemplated flipping him off; I _barely_ managed not to. He smiled again, creepily, I might add.

"I guess I'll just have to force you, Alice."

He grabbed the vial from my hand, making sure to brush up against it a _little_ more than necessary. He promptly uncapped it, tipped it back into his mouth, and stuffed his cheeks with it.

_What the hell?_

_I know, right?_

_Hehe, Bunny Man looks adorable; just like a real bunny, right?_

_No._

_Aw, you guys are mean..._

_Yep._

_Shut it, guys, Rabbit's doing somethin'..._

Not schizophrenic...

Anyway, Rabbit was doing something, a very creepy something, I might add.

He was leaning closer to me. Like, _really _close. Like, grab-your-chin-and-make-you-drink-something close. Oh wait, it wasn't _like_ that, it _was _that!

It was indeed that. He had grabbed my chin and begun forcing the... liquid into my mouth. I couldn't help but feel my face heat up. I mean, sure, he had kidnapped me, could be a rapist, and pedophile-smiled at me over eighty percent of the time I'd been with him, but he was _hot_. Like, {In quoting Authoress-sama's (lolz, I got a new name ^o^) sister ,again} "he's one sexy hunk of man-meat." hot. Yeah.

Seriously, though, he was hot. With his choppy white hair (that looked suspiciously gelled), sparkly red eyes, and silky white skin, I could totally see myself liking him. If he weren't a kidnapper, of course. Yeah, there was always that.

While I thought these shameful thoughts, Rabbit had finished his assault on my mouth, and was now caressing my face with the back of his gloved hand. I was so spaced out that it took me a sec' to comprehend that.

_He's touching my face._

_That is correct, Alice._

_He's TOUCHING my face._

_Technically, it's our face, but, whatever...  
_

_HE'S TOUCHING MY FACE._

It sunk in (finally), and I Falcon Punched his jaw. Again.

He also flew backwards. Again.

_Poor guy... _

_Oh please, he was molesting my mouth a minute ago._

_OUR mouth, thanks very much!_

_Oh, shut it, Carol..._

_I agree with Alice._

_Thank you, Brandi._

_I still hate you._

_Yeah..._

Is it weird that I'm a little sad that Brandi doesn't like me? It's not? Good, 'cause then I'd be insane. Yeah.

Anyway, Rabbit had gotten up, and was rubbing his jaw, saying something about me expressing my love very vigorously. Weirdo.

"Anyway, Alice, dear, if you need me, I'll be at the castle, okay, love?"

I snapped out of my reverie and looked up at him with what I hoped were scared, pitiable eyes. Hey, don't give me that look! I have no idea where I am, and he's the only person-rabbit-thing here! Wouldn't _you_ do the same thing if you were in my shoes?

Anywho, my puppy-dog eyes seemed to work, and he immediately rushed over from across the tower (When'd he get there?) and cradled me in his arms. I had to restrain myself from flinching. And blushing.

"Oh, my Alice, I'm so sorry!" he began rapidly, petting my hair and holding me to his chest. I felt my eye twitch. "I didn't take into account how very scary this must be for you! Oh, I'll take you to the castle with me, that'll solve everything! I'll be with my Alice, she'll be with me, and I can protect her from those other nasty perverts here! Oh, this is perfect!" He nearly fan-girl squealed the last part. It was pretty funny, actually.

He pulled away (Just slightly, mind you; I was still too close to him.) and looked into my eyes with his sparkly Shoujo ones. "Wha'd'ya say, Alice? Will my love come live at the castle with me?"

I hesitated before nodding. I didn't even know his name, but he was my only (however slim) chance of survival in this strange world, that was apparently filled with "nasty perverts", according to Rabbit.

Huh, I _didn't _know his name. I reached into my pocket for my paper before I remembered that it was under that tree. In my backyard. In another world. Damn.

I looked up from my pocket with a sad expression to see Rabbit holding something out to me. I shot him a questioning look, and he just nodded for me to take it. I reached up tentatively and grabbed it. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was a pad of official-looking paper. The outside cover was a dark ruby-red with a small, golden loop to hold a writing utensil in on the left side. I glanced up at Rabbit to see him gauging my reaction excitedly. I looked back down to the book with a small smile.

I opened it up and touched the first soft page. The paper was a pale, rosy pink, with little, pale-red roses curling around a bunch of pale green lines that I assumed you were supposed to write on. I smiled genuinely up at Rabbit. He smiled back (Quite a handsome smile, If I do say so myself.) and slipped a small, smooth cylinder into my hand. I looked down to see a red pen that looked like it would fit into the loop perfectly. I shot Rabbit another smile before examining the pen more closely.

It was slim and rose-red, with gold trim and a little gold... thing to clip it onto stuff. The gold thing had something inscribed on it, too. I peered closely at it, and almost dropped the pen in shock when I read it.

_Alice Pleasance_ _Liddell_ *

I never told _anyone_ my middle name (Seriously, WTF kinda name is 'Pleasance'), much less this guy that had kidnapped me. I couldn't help but feel touched that he had taken the time to make this for me, though. I blinked back tears and looked up at him with a dazzling smile. He blushed a bit and smiled back.

"I'm glad you like it, Alice."

I grinned widely, bent over the still-open first page, and jotted something down something in my experiencedly-elegant script.

I handed it up to him and saw him smile a bit as he read it.

"My name, dearest Alice, is sir Peter White." He gently handed the book back to me, along with the pen, looking very comfy in it's loop, and held a hand out to me after standing up.

"Shall we go, Alice?" he asked in his musical voice. I smiled a bit and gently grabbed his hand. He pulled my up delicately, like I was the most precious thing ever, and looped my arm through his.

I nodded and he smiled wider.

"Then, Alice, to the castle we go."

* * *

**Penguin: **Sorry, Readers, the Authoress' Note is in another castle...

JK!

lol, I got you, admit it...

*convenient cricket chirps are convenient*

Anywho, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

*one minute of Caps Lock abuse later*

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for not updating in forevers! My teachers are assholes ('Cept Mr. Miller; he rocks.) and decided to pile on the homework this last term. But, light is on the horizon! Next week is Spring Break (for me, anyways) and I'm gonna' try to update this again during that time as an apology for sucking-ass when it comes to typing up my chapters! Yay!

And now, ladies and gentlemen (I doubt there are many, if any, guys reading this, but, whatever.), I present to you, our sponsor, Asterisk. For when you want to explain something to people in an A/N: Asterisk.

*curtain opens amidst rousing applause*

* I looked it up, and the real Alice's middle name was Pleasance. So, yeah, go nuts for my coolness.

Anyway, I'll try to update next week. Love you!

Tickles and giggles,

Penguin~

PS- A very a'special thank chu to those who reviewed the last chapter: _Sleeping Moon, oBseSSiON Is ODd, shan .of. shadows, Kreela, _and _oreocookiesrock_. (sorry, _shan .of. shadows_. I know there aren't ant spaces in your name, but it kept getting rid of it without them. Damn you, FF!)

You guys rock! WAAAAY more than some monotoned, delicious, favorite'o'milk cookie!

Okay, bye-bye for reals, now.

I loves chu (lots'n'lots),

Penguin~


	3. Culturally Diverse Mental Illnesses

**Penguin: **WE'RE NO STRANGERS TO LOVE. YOU KNOW THE RULES, AND SO DO I. A FULL COMMITMENT'S WHAT I'M THINKING OF; YOU WOULDN'T GET THIS FROM ANY OTHER GUY. I JUST WANNA TELL YOU HOW I'M FEELING, GOTTA MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND…

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP; NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN. NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU. NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY; NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE. NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU.

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG; YOUR HEART'S BEEN ACHING BUT YOU'RE TOO SHY TO SAY IT. INSIDE WE BOTH KNOW WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON; WE KNOW THE GAME AND WE'RE GONNA PLAY IT. AND IF YOU ASK ME HOW I'M FEELING, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE TOO BLIND TO SEE…

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP; NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN. NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU. NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY; NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE. NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU.

Get Rickrolled, son.

* * *

So, Peter and I were walking in a forest. It wasn't very exciting, and I won't embellish it for the sake of fluffy chapters. No; just no.

So, enough fourth-wall breaking; back to the plot. (Yes, there is one.)

Ol' Petey Boy (I didn't call him this out loud; I'm not stupid.) and I just walked through the woods, not really doing anything. How fun.

_..._

_..._

_..._

_Man, being mute is boring sometimes._

_Ditto._

_At least she has us to keep her company!_

I swear, one of these days, Carol is going to explode into happy, cancer-curing Carol-confetti. No, really, it just happened. It was all 'BOOM!111!1!', and I was all 'DAAYUUM!1!11!'. Yeah.

I shook my head to get the image of a tiny chibi Carol (She was wearing a purple Telly-Tubbies costume, for some reason.) exploding into tinier Carol's that ran around, annoying the sanity out of everyone. Peter gave me a weird look, but, whatever.

"Alice?"

I snapped out of my reverie and turned to look quizzically at him, only to find that I had run into his chest. I blushed deeply and grinned sheepishly up at him. He smiled gently at me.

"We're here, love."

I peeked around him and saw the hugest, most Valentine's Day-themed castle-thing on crack. It was ginormous. There were hearts _everywhere_: on the gate, in the windows, hell, they were even on the uniforms! Of the guards, who... didn't... have...

_Holy shit, that guy doesn't have a face!_

_I know!_

_Aahhh!_

_Aahhh!_

_Will you two shut up! _Brandi mind-hissed at Carol and I, our little chibi figures running around in panicked circles around my skull, clutching their heads. _They're just faceless, like the book mentioned, remember?_

The chibis paused and turned toward the other one.

_Really!_

Brandi-chibi sighed. _Yes, you gits, really. _Oh, did I mention that Brandi has a British accent? 'Cause she does. Carol has one, too; it's Swiss. The voices in my head are culturally diverse! Go me!

Anyway, I had just stared at the guard while my mind freaked out, so I shook my head (_Probably killing some of your last brain cells._-Brandi) and waved happily at him. He waved back with a confused, yet happy, look. Until Peter used his Peta-chan-Glare-o'-Doom (patent pending), of course. Yeah, nothing's scarier than a love-sick rabbit-man with a pistol. They're crazy.

_And you're not?_

_Oh, go suck a railroad spike, Brandi._

_Oh, stop fighting! We have to share this mind, and there's no way to get out of that!_

_Fine..._

_Yeah, what she said..._

Hey, I just realized: Carol stopped our fighting. She's Swiss. Switzerland is neutral... Hah, I amuse myself.

Anyway, Peter was leading me through the huge foyer-hallway-thing, going unusually fast. I also noticed the hand on my lower back. Sneaky, sneaky, Peter! However, a voice from a large archway stopped us.

"White, who is it that you have there?" The voice was obviously a girl, more like a woman, by the deepness, and rung with authority. Peter paused just past the archway and cursed softly.

He cleared his throat and said, in what, I'm assuming, he hoped was a natural voice: "Er, what are you talking about, Your Majesty?"

She chuckled in a rather amused way. "You cannot fool Us, White. Now, come in here with the girl or be beheaded."

Peter cursed again and sent me an apologetic look. He sighed and pushed me lightly, still keeping a hand on my lower back, through the heart-riddled arch.

It was a large room, though the only furniture was a golden throne with many carved hearts on it. Sitting on said throne was the prettiest woman I have ever seen. She had dark, purple hair (it was almost black) pulled into two curly pony-tails. Her eyes were a lighter shade of her hair, and her face was amazingly pretty. It was a bitch-slap to my self-esteem just to be in the same room as her. I fidgeted a bit as her eyes swept appraisingly over me. To my surprise, she smiled slightly.

"Art thou a foreigner?" she asked sweetly, still smiling a bit.

I bit my lip and nodded; I don't know why, but this woman made me kind of... nervous.

She smiled wider at my response. "And what is your name, dear child?" she asked in that sweet as honey voice of hers.

I blinked and went to grab my notebook when I heard Peter say: "Your Majesty, my dear Alice cannot speak, so she obviously cannot answer you." His voice was an odd mixture of pity for me and sneering at Her Majesty, whose name I do not know.

The queen looked to me for confirmation with a her eyebrows raised daintily. They raised even more when I nodded. "Well, Miss Alice, how would you like to have tea in the garden with Us?"

I nodded eagerly as Peter opened his mouth to say something. Her Majesty smiled at me and smirked at Peter, rubbing it in his face that she got to spend time with me instead of him.

"Guards, set up a tea party; in the west gardens." Her Majesty demanded in her strong, yet still girlish, voice. She turned back to Peter and I, one of us moping dejectedly, the other grinning with giddy nervousness.

* * *

**Penguin:** Yeah, I ended up not posting again during Spring Break... Sad face.

Anyway, please enjoy the chapter~!

Tickles and giggles,

Penguin~


	4. I Live in a Castle, Bitch

**Penguin: **Woo! Capítulo tres, everybody! (BTW, that means chapter three for all you lesser, non-Spanish-speaking mortals.) I am sooo happy with this story (and the feedback)!

So, here is the chapter, my lovely readers!

* * *

_She's just a woman. She's just a woman. There's no way she would behead me. No way at all.  
_

I kept repeating this in my head as I walked through a large rose maze (one a lot bigger than my house's) with Her Majesty (I don't know her name, yet).

_By the end of this tea, my head will still be on my shoulders._

"Alice?"

I looked over to the queen to see her, already sitting in a regal chair at the head of the tea table, looking quizzically at me. I blushed a bit and sat meekly in the chair to her left. She smiled kindly at me.

"So, Alice," she began after taking a dainty sip of tea. "Would you happen to have a place of residence here in Wonderland?" I was about to shake my head when Peter interrupted. I vaguely wondered when he got there as he said,

"Of course she does; she's staying here at the castle with me! Right, Alice?"

I was about to shake my head, _again_, when Her Majesty (I still don't know her name, dammit!) looked coldly at Peter and said, in the frostiest ice-bitch voice you can imagine: "We do not remember asking _you_, White." She turned to me and smiled warmly where there had been an annoyed line before. "So, Alice..."

I grabbed my notepad, not willing to try shaking my head as the deities so obviously wanted me not to, and wrote _No, Your Majesty, I do not. _

Normally, I would have just written a simple _Nope_, but Her Majesty seemed too regal for such an incorrigible answer.

_Ooh, look who's using big words!_

_Shut up, Brandi._

Anyway, I had handed Her Majesty the notebook and fidgeted nervously as she quickly read over it._  
_

To my surprise, she smiled a bit. "Please call Us Vivaldi, Alice; Your Majesty is a bit too formal for Us at times." I nodded and blushed a little more. However, it was then that I noticed a very sad pile of rabbit to my right. Well, not really pile; he was more of a man-shaped sack of sad.

A man-shaped sad-sack: it sounds even weirder the second time.

Anyway, Peter was looking at me with a forlorn expression. "You mean you're not staying here at the castle with me!" he demanded sadly, his ears drooping.

_Aw, cute, little usagi-san is sad! We should make him happier, guys!_

_I agree with Carol, surprisingly, _Brandi said, fidgeting at Peter's cuteness as she sipped some Earl Grey.

Sadly, the schizophrenia-induced voices in my head and I all had a weakness for cute, fluffy things. Ugh.

Anyway, I shook my head at Peter; he beamed. "So you'll stay here at the castle!"

I looked apprehensively over at Vivaldi. She nodded, a slight smile curving over her lip; I beamed. Peter did as well. He also glomped me. Very vigorously. It almost hurt. I'm going to stop with these short and choppy sentences. They annoy me.

After my little rant, as reality gave me a sharp bitch-slap, I remembered that Peter had tackle-glomped me to the ground and that I was lacking the air in my lungs that was usually needed by them.

I wiggled beneath him- you know what, that sounds _so _wrong, doesn't it? Ah, whatever.

Anyway, I wiggled beneath him (still very wrong-sounding) and blinked desperately at his face, which was a _very _uncomfortable two inches from mine. He just nuzzled my cheek obliviously. How you can nuzzle someone's cheek obliviously: I don't know, but Peter does. Although, I know how to blink desperately, so we're even.

Anyway, I was getting tired from lack of sleep and effort to get Peter off of me and yawned.

Vivaldi took that as her cue to clear her throat lightly into her fist. Peter looked over to her and she said,

"White, We believe that dear Alice may be tired. Show her to her temporary room."

I gave her a confused look at the 'temporary', and she explained that some maids would have a permanent room for me soon. Cool.

Anyway, Peter grabbed my hand (To which I most certainly did not blush; what gave you that idea? Heh...) and began dragging me through the maze, blabbering about how his Alice was staying at the castle with him, so she must love him. I'm not sure if he was talking to himself or me. Or maybe it was that rose bush in the corner over there. It looks suspicious...

_A rose bush can't look suspicious, moron. _

Enter mean Brandi comment.

_Aw, look at Peta-chan~! He's so cute~!_

And there's Carol.

_Well, I'm just trying to entertain myself. Peter rambling about our 'everlasting, pure love' isn't exactly exciting._

And my explanation of something crazy I did. An explanation to myself, too. Ugh, I really am crazy, huh?

...

Don't answer that.

Anyway, 'Peta-chan' drug me along through the castle (Which was gorgeous, by the way; a bit gaudy, but the stylishness was definitely there.). We were going through a huge hallway when a call of "Hi, Sir Peter~!" echoed from behind us. Peter immediately whipped around with a scowl, turning me around and pushing me behind him all at once. What a good little ninja-bunny he is.

Anyway, I peeked around Peter's arm and saw a brunette guy with a big sword. He was also very attractive.

_Damn..._

_Yeah..._

_Sword-guy has pretty eyes!_

Carol was right. They were red, but not red like Peter's, whose were a vibrant ruby color; this guy's eyes were blood red. It was creepy and hot at the same time.

Apparently, Peter and New Guy had been... arguing, for lack of a better word, while I drooled mentally at the smexy dude down the hall. Well, it was more like New Guy annoying the shit out of Peter by being a totally oblivious idiot, but that just doesn't have the same flow.

Anyway, Peter was reaching for his pocket watch-clock-thing when I grabbed his arm. He looked back at me with a confused expression. One of his ears tilted to the side, too.

I looked to pointedly to New Guy, then at Peter, then shook my head. He looked even more confused for a moment, his ears tilting just that much more (_So. Cute._-Brandi), before his eyes widened in understanding. His face got an annoyed expression as he turned back to New Guy.

"You're luck my Alice wants you spared, _knight_." He hmphed and pushed me the rest of the way through the hall. I glanced back at the so-called knight as Peter rounded the corner, cursing softly under his breath and glaring at a wall. I just ignored him and yawned into my hand; I was _really _sleep all of a sudden.

I yawned again and blinked slowly. Peter noticed this yawn and smiled softly at me before picking me up bridal style. I was too tired to care and snuggled into his chest, yawning again.

"Go to sleep, my love." Peter cooed softly in my ear as he continued walking down the hall, slightly slower so as not to jostle me.

I found myself complying as my lids drooped and I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Penguin: **Have yo ever noticed how everything online gets a lot more interesting when you have to type your long-overdue chapter? Yeah, well, sorry 'bout not updating in a while; I wasn't busy, just lazy.

Anywho, snaps to _DazingDreamer_ and _Tailsdoll123 _for reviewing last chapter; digital cookies shall be arriving through your screen along with a digital Nightmare plushie. Warning: said plushie may have eaten the cookies, so...

Okay, well, I love all of you readers very much, and I thank you from the bottom of my clock for reading this story.

Lots of love,

Penguin~


	5. Heh, Gottschalk

**Penguin: **Hey, readers! So-

**A wild chapter appears!**

**Penguin: **What the fu-

**Penguin uses update!**

**Penguin: **Uhmmm... anyway, yeah. Well, I hadn't written in a while, so, here, I guess...

* * *

After falling asleep in Peter's arms (Which was _extremely _stupid of me.), I dreamed... dreamt. Dreamed? Meh, whatever. I dreamt that I was in a very... colorful world of swirly things and no discernable ground. I peered around curiously. Ooh, more swirls. Oh, look, that one's purple...

"I never really liked that one."

I, being myself, jumped about a foot in the air and whipped around. When I did, I was not disappointed; behind me was a (very attractive) man with silver hair with a silvery-purple eye. And, yes, I said eye; he had a black eyepatch with gold... stuff on it. He was also wearing some weird suit; it had these freaky arm-loopies and it was just... strange.

Of course, I, still being myself (though I sorely wish I wasn't right now), just stared at the admittedley handsome stranger as he frowned almost poutily and said, "'Freaky arm-loopies'? I thought they were rather stylish..."

I just continued staring at him, my mouth opening and closing like some deranged fish.

Brandi snorted. _Smooooth._

I waited for a ditzy comment from Carol but discovered that she was staring at the 'pretty wall swirlies', as she puts it.

"Who's Carol?"

Ah, the joys of zoning out. I didn't even notice that Silver-Dude had gottewn all up in my grill while I was thinking. I jumped again and reached for my notebook to either A) Hit him with it, or B) Give him a very capitalized piece of my mind featuring many an exlamamtion point. I started when I noticed it wasn't there and realized that A) I didn't have my notebook, leaving me unable to communicate with anyone but a mind reader (Oh, the hilarity.), B) I was wearing a white night gown that most certainly _wasn't _what I had fallen asleep in, and C) Peter must have changed my clothing, beacuse Vivaldi was a queen and had more important things to do and Peter already proved himself as a (sexy) pervert. My fist clenched and I hissed silently; someone was getting a Falcon Punch for breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner, really; I'm not picky...

I finally remembered Silver-Dude (as he was so rightly dubbed until I had a name to the face) and turned to him, glaring; the bastard had the audacity to look amused.

He smirked a bit after I thought that last comment, for some reason. I kept glaring. Eventually, he chuckled and said, "Wow, Alice, I didn't know your mind was so... vicious when you were angry. Although, those creepy little voices were a bit of a shock, as well..." He chuckled again and just looked at me strangely, still all up in my grill.

I glared more at him for a second before realizing that he knew about Brandi and Carol, the creepy little voices... I blinked and turned my gaze from the floor... thing to stare at him with a kind of curious awe.

I squinted at him as he smiled good-naturedly at me.

_Er, hello?_

He grinned. "Hello to you, as well, Alice."

I gasped silently and scrambled backwards, away from him.

_Y-you! You're-_

"A mind reader, yes. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Alice."

I blinked at him. I blinked at him again. I rubbed my eyes and blinked at him... again.

_Wait, _I thought, looking suspiciously at him. _How do you know my name?_

He chuckled. "Of course I know your name, Alice; you _are _part of the Game." He was being cryptic, which annoyed me. I mean, seriously! Jeez...

_I'm not gonna get a straight answer from you, am I? _

"Probably not," he admitted with a grin, floating down to sit beside me.

_Cheeky bastard._

_Oh, shut it Brandi._

If you're wondering where Carol is, she's _still_ looking at the wall swirls. Yeah...

_Okay, so... What's your name?_

"Ah!" He stood up (and stopped braiding little pieces of my hair...) and said grandly, "I am Nightmare Gottschalk, Lord of Clover Tower and Caterpillar of Wonderland."

I blinked at him for a second then snickered silently.

He frowned. "What?"

_Nothing, nothing, but... Gottschalk? Really?_

He huffed and pouted. "Yes, really!"

I chuckled (silently beacuse, again, the whole 'mute' thing...). _Sorry._

_So, _I began after undoing the all little plaits Nightmare had made (He was surprisingly good at it, actually.). _Why am I here in Wonderland? What's my purpose?_

He gave me a strange look. "Well, Alice, you're here to play the Game."

_And my purpose? _I prompted; this seemed... important, for some reason.

He gave me another strange smile. "All in due time, Alice." I deflated; his crypticness was getting annoying. "But, remember this:" I perked up and looked hopefully at him. "Beyond a dream, there is only reality." After whispering this in my ear, he floated away. The dreamscape started to fade out, and a black, fuzzy border began on my vision. The psuedo-floor crumbled and I fell.

I didn't wanna use a line-thing, so here's an evil face. :)

I shot up in the bed that I was apparently in, or tried to, at least. An arm was on me; whether it was atatched to a body or not, I may never kno- PETER! My eye twitched and I prepered to Falcon Punch him out of bed when I saw how he looked.

His glasses were off and his face was peaceful. His hair was messed up (more so than usual, I mean) and he was wearing pale pink pajamas that he could pull off, somehow. My heart melted a little bit when his face contorted softly into sadness, and he murmered "Warm...", grabbing my Falcon Punching arm and pulling me back into his chest. I was blushing like mad, of course.

He held me tightly and sighed gently, his warm breath dusting across my forehead; it smelled like peppermint. I was tempted to wiggle out of his grip, but he was right; the bed was warm and cozy. I sighed and snuggled into his chest (Which I could see, thanks to the shirt of his PJs being unbuttoned.).

* * *

**Penguin: **Okay, sorry for not updating. And for the short, fluffilicious chapter. So, yeah...

Um...

Bye!

PS Oh! If you get the joke in the beginning, you get a virtual cookie and virtual Joker plushies! Go you!


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